Relationship counselling, marriage counselling, or couples counselling is an effective method of assisting couples with learning how their relationship works and why it runs into trouble. It is helpful for specific problems, as well as for complex problems that have developed and solidified over a long period of time. Available in Kensington, West London. Easy access from Notting Hill, Holland Park, Earl's Court, Fulham, Hammersmith, Gloucester Road

Relationship counselling can help with:

  • Improving open and honest communication

  • Having a safe space to explore powerful painful feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, hopelessness and resentment

  • Mobilizing feelings of love, concern, and affection

  • Better understanding of the other’s point of view

  • Offering a focused and sustained inquiry into the dynamics between two people

  • Helps redefine each partner’s relationship to autonomy and intimacy, closeness and distance, dependence and independence, self-interest and couple well-being

  • Reducing polarisation and incompatibility

  • Accepting and working through an ending if there is a decision to uncouple

Relationship counselling in Kensington is based on a framework based in attachment theory and psychoanalysis. It is focused on gaining insight into each partner’s internal relationship models and the interaction between them.

The partners can be married, unmarried, in a civil partnership, straight, gay, lesbian, or transgender. 

I can help with: 

(A) Relationship difficulties

Sexual issues    
Frequent arguments
Difficulties communicating
Loss of intimacy
The arrival of a new child
Infertility or difficulty conceiving
Significant life changes
Financial difficulties

(B) Separation, divorce, or civil partnership dissolution

Going through the end of a relationship can be a complicated and painful process. The purpose of this service is to help individuals and couples understand their emotional state and work through the process of rebuilding their lives. This is not a mediation service.

(C) Parenting difficulties (see also the family counselling section)
It may be that a couple are having difficulties agreeing on how to parent or both are struggling with one or more of their children. During the initial consultation we will decide together on whether therapy will provide a space to reflect on the couple’s difficulties or whether children also need to attend therapy. 

These issues can also occur within the context of separation, civil partnership dissolution, or separation or divorce. In such cases it is usually helpful to initially help the parents work through the emotions that have arisen because of the end of the relationship before assisting them on how to co-parent.

A consultation can be attended by an individual member of the couple, both parents, or one of the parents and their new partner, depending on who has parenting responsibilities.

How relationship counselling works

An initial 50 minute consultation is attended by both members of the couple. The purpose of this meeting is to gain an initial understanding of the situation and to begin to think whether couple therapy is likely to be helpful. It is quite usual to have more than one consultations before a decision can be made.

If the partners and therapist decide that couple therapy is the most appropriate way forward, a time and day is set every week for further 50 minute meetings. The function of the therapist is to offer psychological understanding of what the couple brings to the room every week. The aim is to establish and support a focused process that will help the partners to work out how they relate to each other in depth.

The duration of the therapy is determined by the needs of the couple and adjusted to give partners time to arrive at an understanding of the relationship that can lead to sustainable decisions. The therapist is committed to a non-judgmental stance. It can be very helpful to have an external participant, who does not take sides, offer a third point of view. This can help each partner improve their capacity to see the relationship from outside much like the therapist does.