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What is relationship trauma?
When I talk about relationship trauma, I use the term relatively broadly, and often refer to the experiences that my clients define as such, in my practice at Earls Court, Kensington. I mean any experience or experiences within a relationship which has a disruptive...
Anxiety Therapy 101
Pablo crash lands on the therapist’s sofa. He smiles widely, and comments on how beautiful the ZZ plant (Zamioculcas zamiifolia) next to the sofa is. "Have you been working out of here long?", he asks. Pablo doesn’t look like a man with a problem. “What is it that you...
How to control anger in a relationship
Read on for a different approach to anger management at Earls Court, Kensington... Anger and frustration in relationships are inevitable, because arguments and conflicts are inevitable. In a relationship* there are two minds involved so seeing things differently is...
How to manage your mental health during the coronavirus outbreak
This article is about staying sane during the coronavirus outbreak. It also makes brief reference to people who may already be struggling with emotional difficulties. There is no doubt that the outbreak and the current lockdown affect people belonging in different...
3 steps to quiet your inner critic
What is the inner critic? (T/W childhood abuse) Alex* hates social occasions. Whenever she is around people she becomes anxious. She worries she might say something "weird" or...
How to choose the right partner
Few questions play on people's minds and popular media as much as this: How do I find the right partner? Many of us hope that if we know what makes a good partner we can spot a good deal. We research online. We quiz our mates about their relationships. We compare (and...
Top 5 relationship killers
A lot of people wonder what they need to do to make their relationship last. The long term romantic relationship can be the most formative relationship since the one we have with our parents. It can provide an opportunity to grow: to overcome blocks to our development...
Understanding and managing anxiety: Part 1
Sometimes you feel as if you are about to die. You may be afraid you are having a heart attack. Or that you are going mad. You dread social situations. You worry you will say something offensive or that you will be boring. Or weird. You constantly think you are going...
“I’m being dragged to relationship counselling”: A survival guide
A brief vignette of relationship counselling in London... Rajesh* sank in the sofa. He was convinced that if he tried hard enough he might disappear. Or at least provide a smaller target. Vidya* on the other hand was animated, fiery. Articulate as always. Vidya had so...
The definitive counselling & psychotherapy guide. Part 1: Types of therapy
Types of therapy At Relationships in Mind I see both people who have had previous experiences of therapy and total newbies who have never had therapy before. I have come to appreciate how difficult this first step is and how daunting it can be to choose a therapist,...